Tag Archives: Ringdijk

2d-vinity

“Less is more”, said M. Today we show how to apply this principle to dimensions. This religious facility situated close to the Ringdijk shores occupies a total of 0 square meters of horizontal surface, thus yielding the highest spiritual ratio possible -in attendance of the Linear Synagogue, soon available in easy-to-carry spools of thread. Of course, regardless of how many dimensions you take out from your temple, the predicaments of dealing with conventional, mass-bound attendants and their tedious demands for matter will emerge at some point. In this building the problem has been solved by placing an interdimensional doorway disguised as a doorway. Image

Origins

Much has been discussed about the peculiar cosmogonic beliefs of the native Ringdijkers. Our own Department of Indigenous Mythology has no option but to issue a theory about this archaeological mystery and be right about it. Hear the Director of or Department of Indigenous Mythology speaking:

“The Ringdijkers, isolated by the same canal that has fertilized his civilisation since time immemorial, tend to process new knowledge with some grade of distortion. This is important to keep in mind if we are to elaborate a satisfactory hypothesis about how the Ringdijkers have developed their own creation myths about a Monkey-Demiurge. As the legend goes, the Monkey-Demiurge (or ‘de appengod’ in the original Amsterdammian) dips his pipe in the Primeval Soapy Water and blows new planets. It is clearly the product of an incomplete understanding of Darwinian theory.”

At this point our Master Builder invites himself to the discussion and adds in his characteristically unrequited manner: “However” -says the Master Builder while wielding his compass- “attention must be drawn to the architectural sophistication of the Ringdijkers. Notice how the chamfered corner makes an elegant frame for the sacred figure, and how the polychromatic quoins enhance the composition. And, come on, is a monkey blowing planets. I mean, like, come on.”DSC00008